Last month, Mike Lee became an international bitch when he and his bff JD Vance traveled all the way to Greenland to try and convince the locals that they would have a better life if the United States invaded. They didn't succeed however because Greenlanders have the internet and access to world news. A few weeks later, Mike visited Denmark and said he had a good time, even calling them "allies", which leads me to believe that he doesn't know that Greenland is a territory of Denmark.
Scientists are perplexed by a recently unearthed link between Mike Lee's mouth and the anuses of top banking executives. The link was discovered after Mike Lee voted to keep the sky-high $35 overdraft fees, claiming that "poor people just aren't poor enough" and that "banks are the real victims". We reached out to Mike for comment, and he responded saying, "I'd love to speak more on this, but I have a pretty full plate that I need to clean".
Seriously though, this time they totally will. Not like last time, in 2008 when they were caught defrauding consumers. They definitely learned their lesson, which is why Mike Lee is co-sponsoring a measure that would defund the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB). For those of you with amnesia, the CFPB was created after the 2008 financial crisis, and was tasked with ensuring that all consumers have access to fair, transparent, and competitive markets for financial products and services.
Mike Lee once tweeted, "name a fascist dictator whose agenda entailed limiting the size, cost and power of government." He failed to mention that Augusto Pinochet, an American backed dictator in Chile, did exactly that. Which means that either Mike Lee skipped his history classes, which is something a little bitch would do, or he purposefully tried to muddy the waters and normalize what he and his ilk are doing to the government right now, which is also something a bitch would do.
Mike Lee will tell you that Utah can better manage public lands. What he doesn't tell you is that so far, Utah has sold off 54% of its state land that it received when becoming a state. So when Mike Lee says "manage", what he really means is despite opposition, he'll "manage" to sell off public lands to the highest bidder. And if I was a betting man, I'd say that would be for mineral extraction or development. I would also put money on Mike Lee having intercourse through a hole in a blanket.
Despite having video evidence saying he would "phase out Social Security, to pull it up by the roots, and get rid of it", Mike Lee denied wanting to phase out social security, which is ironic because Mike Lee, who clearly suffers from memory loss, falls into one of the demographics that would benefit from a social safety net. However sources close to the Senator disclose that he won't be needing Social Security because he has money and believes "that shit is for the poors".
Mike Lee, who the Guiness Book of World Records has labeled the biggest pussy on the planet, loves to get on Twitter and make contrarian posts in a lame attempt to create outrage. Dude, you're 53 years old. Just stimulate your prostate like the rest of us.
MIke Lee wrote a letter to the TV Parental Guidelines Monitoring Board "urging them to update their warning label system to better inform parents about "mature" subject matter before it is displayed to their children." To be clear, he is specifically talking about LGBTQ+ content, regardless of whether or not it's explicit. I'm surprised he found the time given the extensive network of yarn on the evidence board in his office that ties gay pop culture references to the purple Teletubby.
Back in 2019, Mike Lee was one of two senators that voted "no" on the Zadroga Act, a bill to extend authorization for the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund. A fund that is specifically dedicated to provide funding to first responders who were injured or contracted cancer as a result of spending time at the World Trade Center in 2001/2002. If that isn't the biggest bitch move on the planet, I don't know what is.
According to the AP, "Utah Sen. Mike Lee worked on early efforts to overturn the results of the 2020 election, helping push legally dubious schemes to keep then-President Donald Trump in power, before he shifted course and quickly backed away", like a little bitch.
Mike Lee has a poor track record of having town hall meetings. There are two reasons for this. 1) because he's too busy hanging out with his developer friends, scheming of ways to make money off of Utah's public resources. And 2) Mike Lee is afraid of people asking him hard questions. Both reasons are a sure sign that he's a little bitch.
Over the course of 17 years, he has only been a primary sponsor on 6 pieces of Legislation that have passed. 3 of which were name changes to buildings. Thanks for all your hard work, Senator Lee. I really appreciate you working tirelessly to introduce a bill that *checks notes* changes the name from the Provo Veterans Center in Orem, Utah, to the "Col. Gail S. Halvorsen 'Candy Bomber' Veterans Center". I will note that he has introduced 508 bills, but 6/508 is some real bitch energy.
He nominated Linda, the co-founder of the WWE, despite knowing for a fact that professional wrestling is staged. Including that time Brock Lesnar broke The Undertaker's undefeated streak at WrestleMania XXX. This however does not include the time Seth Rollins absolutely demolished John Cena's nose during a WWE Monday Night Raw event. That was real.
Why else would he nominate RFK Jr. to head Health and Human Safety Services. Leading scientists in the field of reanimation say that a majority of evidence points to Robert F. Kennedy Jr. being neither healthy, nor human. In fact, most evidence demonstrates that Robert is no longer in control of his own faculties and that the brain worm is now calling the shots.
Not only are Illegal immigrants ineligible for most forms of welfare, but they are also taxed on profits earned, so whatever money is spent on them, is far outweighed by the tax revenue being brought in. To say that American tax dollars are spent on Illegal Immigrants is the same as saying Coca-Cola spends money making Coca-Cola. Nice bill, dickhead.
The Honoring our Pact Act is a law that expands VA health care and benefits for Veterans exposed to burn pits, Agent Orange, and other toxic substances. For anyone thinking that Mike Lee cares about Veterans, this would be a direct counter-argument to that train of thought. I will say, if you're in the camp that thinks agent orange wasn't that bad or that the veterans deserved it, you most likely would not have a problem that he voted "no" on this bill. But that would make you a little bitch.
Send a note with any particularly egregious legislation that negatively impacted the general population.
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.